


Above and Below the Neck

by meatheadinthecraftroom



Category: Orphan Black
Genre: Alternate Universe, Epilepsy, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHAY DAVYDOV WEEK, Service Dogs, epileptic cosima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meatheadinthecraftroom/pseuds/meatheadinthecraftroom
Summary: After returning home from her second tour of duty in Afghanistan with unseen wounds, Shay makes an unexpected connection.





	Above and Below the Neck

**Author's Note:**

> Non-canon AU. I know nothing about the military so someone please let me know if I got any of the terminology wrong!

The explosive sound came out of nowhere. Shay started violently, dropping the soup can she’d been inspecting and instinctively reaching for the gun she soon realized was not strapped to her side. Her fingers groped at her hip in a panic for a moment. Her vision swam as she gripped the edge of the shelf for balance, her nose suddenly filled with the stench of burning flesh. An anguished scream reverberated somewhere to her right; she whipped her head towards the sound to discover one of her men writhing on the ground, iron red blood soaking into the parched earth beneath him. Shay’s stomach clenched. She swayed, the horizon slanting dangerously to the left as more explosions rang in the distance. Something pressed against her thigh – she swiped it away, eyes too busy scanning for more insurgents. The pressure returned, more insistent this time, jabbing lightly at her leg.

“Hey, Zeke, no!” A woman’s voice cut into the fog suddenly. Shay glanced toward the source of the voice, eyes wide and unseeing. She shook her head slightly as the sound of gunshots faded, replaced with the busy hum of supermarket customers. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry- hey, uh…are you okay?” Shay squinted at the source of the voice – a woman standing directly in front of her, wrapped in a blood-red wool coat, a tangle of rough dreadlocks cascading over one shoulder. One hand rested idly on the head of a large, black and caramel colored dog who stood at her side, staring at Shay as though still trying to get her attention. Shay opened her mouth to respond, then snapped it shut again when no words appeared. The woman’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern.

“Yeah, uh-“ She cleared her throat. “Sorry, yeah, I’m – I’m good.” Shay’s heart thundered in her ears. Her palms were slick on the shelf beside her – she released her white-knuckle grip and quickly stuffed trembling fingers into her pockets. She felt the woman’s eyes on her. 

“So, um…” Shay glanced around wildly, calculating her exit strategy. Her eyes caught on the dog panting lightly at the woman’s side. 

“Uh… dog?” _Brilliant, Shay._ She chastised herself. _Way to sound intelligent._

“Oh, yeah! He’s a service dog.” The woman made a swooping gesture towards the dog. For the first time, Shay noticed the red vest the animal wore, covered in black and white patches. “That’s why it’s so weird that he alerted to you – he’s trained better than that. “ Her eyes narrowed suddenly at Shay. “You’re not epileptic too, are you? Do you need to sit down?”

“No, no.” Shay shook her head. “I’m good. Thanks, though.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I should, uh…”

“Hey-“ The woman moved as if to grab her arm, then seemed to think better of it. Her hand hovered inches from Shay’s shoulder. Shay glanced up in surprise, taking in the woman’s concerned expression, the intensity of her gaze, the glint of fluorescent light bouncing off a delicate silver nose ring. “There’s a coffee shop next door. Do you wanna get a cup of tea or something?” The woman cocked her head to the side, appraising Shay with a gentle eye. “You look like maybe you could use it.”

Shay stared at her at the woman, then down at the dog who seemed to have lost all interest in her. Her brain seemed to be lagging several steps behind the conversation as she fought to process what was happening.

“Totally up to you!” The woman interjected anxiously, waving her hands to emphasize your point. The harsh fluorescent lighting reflected off the rings decorating nearly all of her fingers. “You just look a little shaken up so I figured-“

“No,” Shay blurted, then shook her head frantically, cheeks filling with pink. _God, this woman’s gonna think I’m insane._ “I mean – yes.” She took a deep breath and tried again, slower this time. “Yes. Tea sounds great.”

The woman smiled and held out her hand. “I’m Cosima, by the way.” She nodded towards the dog at her feet. “And this is Zeke, who I swear is much more polite than he probably seemed just now.”

Shay’s shoulders lowered as she grinned and shook the woman’s hand. “Shay. Good to meet you both.”

Cosima smiled and turned on her heel, leading Shay by the hand for a moment before letting go. Shay’s basket of groceries lay on the floor, entirely forgotten. She quickened her stride to keep pace with the pair, still fighting through the fog of jumbled memory and emotion that always seem to linger after a flashback.

“So,” Cosima chimed in, once again interrupting the swell of panic in Shay’s mind. She tossed the word over her shoulder as they weaved between displays and crowds in the chaotic market. Shay’s heartbeat thudded once more in her ears. “Are you from around here?”

“Uh.” A large man pushed past her with a grunt, jostling her to the side. She could hear every screaming child in the store – from the sound of it, it seemed like there were dozens of them, hundreds of them, how could there be that many children in one market, and suddenly the screams were no longer shrill and youthful but deep and wounded, screaming on all side of her, and why can’t she catch her breath-

“Hey.” Cosima was back at her side once more. “Lost you for a minute there.”

Shay stared at her, eyes glazed. Cosima’s smile fell at the sight. She reached for Shay’s hand and squeezed. The pressure alone seemed to clear some of the fog from Shay’s vision. 

“Come on.” Shay’s feet seemed to follow the tug of Cosima’s hand without any conscious direction. She let herself be pulled forward, eyes trained on the sunlight streaming through the glass doors up ahead. She sucked in a desperate lungful of the biting autumn air as they burst through the doors, panting as though she’d been sprinting rather than being tugged along by a stranger. Cosima slowed to a gentler pace, letting Shay catch her breath as she guided them to a café table outside the shop next door. She gave Shay’s hand a gentle squeeze before letting go to pull out a chair for her. Shay smiled weakly in thanks as she collapsed into it, her knees giving out beneath her. 

“I’m gonna get you some water, okay? I’ll be right back.” Shay nodded, focusing on breathing slowly through her nose. The faint scent of jasmine filled her lungs as Cosima turned away. Shay leaned over the table, letting the weight of her head fall into her hands. Disappointment sank slowly into her mind the way it inevitably did after a flashback, the weight of it gathering slowly like fallen snow on her shoulders as the panic drained from her system. This was supposed to be a simple errand. She hadn’t even been worried about the possibility of a flashback – it had been weeks since the last one. 

Shay slumped further in her chair. This day had started out so promising, and now-

“Okay, so I got water-“ Cosima reappeared without warning, setting a tray down onto the table. Shay’s head snapped up at the sound. “-and tea for both of us. It’s a blend they get from this local tea shop, it’s got, like, chamomile and some other stuff, I forget what exactly. Supposed to be very calming though. I hope that’s okay?” She settled into the chair across from Shay, glancing at her with concern. 

“That sounds perfect.” Shay smiled at the woman across from her who, she realized for the first time, was completely gorgeous. Shay’s heartbeat thudded in her chest again, this time for a completely new reason. “Thank you,” she added. “For the tea and for – ya know. The rescue, I suppose.” She smiled and glanced down at her hands, wrapped around the comforting warmth of the mug. “I really appreciate it.”

Cosima’s eyes lit up. “Well, that was mostly Zeke, to be fair.” She reached down to scratch Zeke’s head where he lay at her feet. “He’s trained to alert if he smells a seizure coming on, but he must have gotten confused and picked up on-“ she faltered and glanced away- “whatever was going on with you.”

“Flashback,” Shay said as matter-of-factly as she could manage. This was the part of the conversation she’d had hundreds of times. It was rote by now. “Combat vet. Whatever that crash was in there set it off.”

“Oh, yeah.” Cosima waved her hands again as if to capture the story. “Some idiot lady was letting her kids run wild and they ran the cart into a display and knocked the whole thing over. I saw the whole thing, which is why I didn’t notice you until Zeke did.” Her hands drifted slowly back to the tabletop like falling leaves. Shay stifled a grin at her exuberance. 

“Are you… feeling any better now, though?” Cosima asked quietly.

Shay nodded and sipped her tea. “Lots.” 

Cosima smiled softly. “I’m so glad.”

Shay nodded again, avoiding her eyes. Her fingers traced the outline of the mug in front of her. 

“Manitoba, by the way,” she blurted. She fiddled with the mug a moment longer before glancing up to meet Cosima’s confused gaze. “Where I’m from. You asked earlier-“

“Oh!” Cosima nodded in understanding. “Manitoba, nice! It’s funny, I’m American, so when you said combat vet I just assumed you were a transplant too.”

“You’re half right, actually.” Shay smiled. “Manitoba originally, then naturalized in the U.S. Lived in Seattle for a few years until I joined the Army. Two tours in Afghanistan.” She sipped her tea again. “Now I’m back to my roots, so to speak.” 

“Well, I’m not very patriotic, but, ya know, thanks for your service and all that.” 

The light danced off Cosima’s rings as she talked. Shay grinned. “Hey, saving me from the evils of the supermarket is thanks enough.” Cosima smiled at that. “So – what part of the states?”

“California.” Cosima’s face lit up at the question. “San Fran area. Did my undergrad at Berkeley, then wandered for a few years. Now I’m halfway through a PhD at U of T. Or at least I hope it’s halfway,” she chuckled. 

“Ahh, an academic,” Shay parried. She could feel her faculties coming back online one by one, like an old computer slowly groaning back to life after a restart. Flirting, thankfully, seemed to be returning first. 

“Let me guess…” She leaned forward, eyes glinting coyly as she appraised Cosima. “Humanities, definitely. Maybe literature?”

Cosima gaped for a moment and then burst into a laugh so explosive that Zeke started, head whipping around to stare up at her in alarm. 

“Not even close,” she said, the ghost of a laugh still on her lips. “Biology, actually. Specifically genetics and evolutionary development.”

“Genetics!” Shay sat back in her chair, eyebrows raised. “Are you one of those scientists that thinks they could take a drop of my blood and tell me my destiny?” Shay smirked. It was half joke, half challenge.

Cosima leaned forward, matching Shay’s smirk with her own. “Why don’t we start with dinner first?”

Over an hour later, Shay wandered back to her car, a blissful smile on her face, all thoughts of her abandoned grocery basket entirely forgotten. She rubbed the tips of her fingers ruminatively over her phone inside her pocket, thinking only of the brand new phone number inside it. It could, perhaps, be a good day after all.


End file.
